Google God

I've decided to become a Priestess in the Temple of the Google God.  I can think of nothing more omniscient than Google. Who do we turn to when we have a query? Need a phrase of affirmation or encouragement?  Google of course. And Google knows how to spell and all the antonyms and synonyms for every word in just about every language. Sounds like God to me. 

I look forward to sitting somewhere beautiful, eating bon-bons procured on line from some Googled inspired fair trade organic web site and wafting blessings on the multitude of seekers: "May the Google God bless you with wisdom, my child"  "May you find answers to your questions, dear one." I would be totally hooked up with the latest in wireless technology and float  through Trekkie holodecks of information. It would be like shopping at Sam's Club, only they would have what you want in a size you actually need. Perfect. And of course, there would be all the great accoutrements. I  could sell. "What would GG do?" bracelets and T-Shirts. So hip, so retro, so GG.

There are a few problems. What of the Google Goddess? Surely, if there is a God there must be a Goddess to bring sanity to the paradigm. After not much thought at all, I believe the sole energy capable of balancing the Google God is a Golden Retriever. Only a female Golden Retriever, with her sweet lovable personality fur wrapped around a solid core of bitch, is up to the task. She is trickster to GG's linear equation, a wet kiss in the midst of gdocking, and a soggy tennis ball in Wikepedia.  She is, in effect, a safe word in a world of informational role playing.  Done. Now I'm feeling lucky, how about you?